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One of the common misconceptions in many Muslim circles today concerns the concept of ʿafw (forgiveness). We have, in some cases, adopted an attitude resembling the modern misunderstanding of "turning the other cheek", an interpretation that even many Christian theologians argue was never intended to promote passive acceptance of injustice. Likewise, Islam does not teach unconditional forgiveness regardless of its consequences.

The Qur'an undoubtedly praises forgiveness, but it does so with an important qualification:

«The recompense of an evil is an evil like it. But whoever forgives and brings about reconciliation (iṣlāḥ), his reward is with Allah."

(Qur'an 42:40)»

The verse does not merely praise forgiveness. Rather, Allah says: "whoever forgives and brings about reconciliation (iṣlāḥ)." The scholars have therefore explained that the forgiveness being praised is forgiveness that leads to reform. If forgiving someone causes them to become ashamed, abandon their wrongdoing, and reconcile, then such forgiveness is among the noblest of deeds. However, if forgiveness only emboldens the oppressor, encourages further abuse, or leads to greater corruption, then the condition of iṣlāḥ mentioned in the verse is absent.

This principle is emphasized by Shaykh Muḥammad ibn Ṣāliḥ al-ʿUthaymīn, who explains:

«"Forgiveness may sometimes become a cause for an increase in tyranny and transgression, and it may sometimes become a cause for putting an end to it." (Sharḥ al-ʿAqīdah al-Wāsiṭiyyah)

He further explains that if forgiving someone is likely to increase their oppression, for example, forgiving a criminal who is expected to commit even greater crimes, then such forgiveness is blameworthy and may even be prohibited. Conversely, if forgiveness is likely to make the offender feel remorse and abandon their wrongdoing, then it is praiseworthy.

This understanding is also reflected in the words of ibn Taymīyah, who writes:

«All the prescribed punishments in the Sharīʿah are beneficial remedies through which Allah cures the diseases of the hearts. They are among Allah's mercy and compassion towards His servants, falling under His saying: 'We have not sent you except as a mercy to the worlds.' Whoever abandons this beneficial mercy out of misplaced pity for the offender has actually aided in his suffering and destruction, even though he intended good, for in doing so he is ignorant and foolish." (Quoted in al-Mawsūʿah al-Akhlāqiyyah)»

This teaches us an important lesson: bringing a case before a judge or allowing a legitimate punishment to be carried out is not necessarily contrary to mercy. On the contrary, it may itself be an act of mercy toward the wrongdoer, preventing him from persisting in sin and causing greater harm to himself and others.

Another important distinction made by the scholars is that not every form of refraining from retaliation is genuine forgiveness.

It is mentionned in al-Mawsūʿah al-Akhlāqiyyah :

«Forgiveness is relinquishing your right out of generosity, nobility and excellence while having the ability to take revenge. This is unlike humiliation, where a person refrains from retaliation because of incapacity, fear and self-abasement. Such conduct is blameworthy, not praiseworthy.»

True forgiveness therefore stems from strength, not weakness. A believer forgives because he has the ability to retaliate but chooses not to when doing so brings about a greater good, not because he is afraid or incapable of defending his rights.

Having established that forgiveness is not always the best option, the same principle also applies to boycotting (hajr) someone who has wronged us.

The general rule is that it is prohibited for a Muslim to boycott his brother for more than three days over personal disputes. The Prophet ﷺ said:

«It is not lawful for a Muslim to boycott his brother for more than three days. The better of the two is the one who initiates the greeting."

(Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 6077, Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2560)

However, the scholars have long distinguished between this prohibited boycott and the legislated boycott (al-hajr al-sharʿī), which is intended to achieve a religious benefit, such as deterring a sinner or causing him to repent.

Shaykh Muḥammad ibn Ṣāliḥ al-ʿUthaymīn states:

«As for the people of sin, if there is benefit in boycotting them, then boycott them. If the boycott is beneficial such that they are deterred from the sin and abandon it, then it is something that is sought." (Sharḥ Riyāḍ al-Ṣāliḥīn)

He further explains:

«If, when you boycott a person, he feels ashamed, recognizes his sin and repents to his Lord, then boycott him. But if he only becomes more obstinate and increases in evil, then do not boycott him.»

The underlying principle remains the same throughout these discussions: the objective is not punishment for its own sake, nor forgiveness for its own sake, but reform (iṣlāḥ). Sometimes mercy is shown through forgiveness, at other times, mercy requires justice, legal recourse, or even temporary social boycott if that is more likely to guide the person back to righteousness. The Sharīʿah does not promote passive acceptance of injustice, but rather seeks the course of action that produces the greatest benefit and the least harm for both the individual and society.

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